What if a Harry Potter movie was directed by...

The next Harry Potter movie (the goblet of fire) is coming out soon. The first two were directed by chris columbus who failed miserably at bringing the books into the big screen. Next was that e tu mama tambien guy (cuaron) who directed azkaban, he did a better job, but he too, in my opinion failed. So I thought, what if 3 of hollywood's most famous directors took a crack at making a Harry Potter Movie, what would happen?

So here's the scenario, Harry Potter and Voldemort are about to fulfill "the prophecy". With all the death eaters watching, Harry Potter and "He-who-must-not-be-named" will battle to the death. Given this scenario, lets see how the directors handle the scene. And oh yeah, since they are such big shots, let's assume these directors screwed JK Rowling and wrote their own script. haha!

Lets get down to it...

What if a Harry Potter movie was directed by George Lucas?

Movie Title: Harry Potter Episode 7: Return of the Wizard

Lord Voldemort is played by a tall man in a black suit. He wears a mask to hide his disfigured face. You can distinctly hear his breathing. He is voiced by James Earl Jones.

Script:
(Voldemort and Harry Potter are on a hanging bridge perched upon a bottomless chasm)

Voldemort: I see Sirius has taught you well young Potter...

(Voldemort and Harry duel, they fire spells left and right. Harry's spells are blue in color, while voldemort's are red)

(after some lame fight sequences... harry gets his hand chopped off)

Voldemort: Join me Harry! Together... we will rule the wizarding world!!
Harry: Never!!! I will never join you!!! Y-You killed my father!!!
Voldemort: Harry... I AM your FATHER!!!
Harry: NNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Voldemort: Search your feelings Harry... you know it to be true!
Harry: That's not true! That's impossible!!

end scene

Here's the second one...

What if a Harry Potter movie was directed by the Wachowski brothers (the guys who made the matrix)?

Movie Title: Harry Potter Revolutions

Lord Voldemort is played by Hugo Weaving

Script:
(It is night time. It is raining. Harry and Voldemort are in an abandoned city street. With Death Eaters on both sides watching, Harry and Voldemort meet)

Voldemort: Mr. Potter... welcome back. We... missed you. Do you like what I've done with the place?
Harry: It ends tonight.
Voldemort: I know it does! I have seen it! That's why my Death Eaters are just watching! They know that I'm the one that beats you!!

(A Staredown insues. The Orchestra music swells to a fevered pitch. Harry and Voldemort run towards each other, wands firing, in slow motion. They throw their wands away and start kung-fu fighting. They fight on the street, they fight inside abandoned buildings, they fight in the air! Lots of Bullet time shots)

end scene

and finally...

What if a Harry Potter Movie was directed by Quintin Tarantino?

Movie Title: Harry Potter Vol. 7

Voldemort is played by Samuel L. Jackson
Bellatrix Lestrange is played by a Japanese school girl with a ball 'n chain

Script:
(Harry attacks Voldemorts hide out. He does battle with the Death Eaters 88. A gory battle occurs, where in the aftermath, countless Death Eaters lie dead and bloodied. Some of them have arms, legs and heads cut off, blood spurting out like water from a hose from the open wounds. Voldemort appears in the balcony)

Harry: Anymore subordinates to kill?
Voldemort: Silly little motherf***ing boy wants to play with a motherf***ing wand...

(Bellatrix Lestrange comes down some steps in a school girl outfit. Harry eventually kills her. Harry and Voldemort move to a Japanese garden with fake snow all around them. They battle)

Harry: You stupid MOTHERF***ER!! YOU KILLED MY MOTHERF***ING PARENTS!! IM GONNA MOTHERF***ING KILL YOU!!
Voldemort: I'd like to see you try you MOTHERF***ER! I'M THE MOST BAD ASS MOTHERF***ING WIZARD IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH! YA THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME YOU MOTHERF***ER!?
Harry: Who are you calling a MOTHERF***ER MOTHERF***ER!?
Voldemort: You MOTHERF***ER!! Crucio!!!

(Harry gets hit by the spell and screams in pain)

Harry: MOTHERF***ER!!!! That MOTHERF***ING hurts!!!
Voldemort: Yeah... That's right! SCREAM MOTHERF***ER!!!! Scream for your MOTHERF***ING mommy and daddy!!!
Harry: You MOTHERF***ER!!!! AVADA F***IN' KEDAVARA!!!!!

(Voldemort gets hit, and crumples to the ground)

end scene