Konyo Speaking Lunatic

(Note: This post will be written in konyo, thus logic and proper grammar are thrown out the proverbial window)

For the last couple of days, my peeps and I started speaking in konyo. I don’t know why, maybe we thought it was cool kasi eh, that the chikababes really dig guys who make usap like a couple of airheads…

Anyway, JM, Xtiane and yours truly were at school yesterday cuz we like, had our proposal. OMG, it was like so olats! The panelists were like blocking the flow of our water! You know what that means ryt? They were like making bara everything we said! I was like so asar talaga!!! How was I supposed to know that you can’t make basa the RFID tag thingy when it’s made dikit to bakal? Duh!?

After the proposal, I was bad trip to max. Then, I got more badtrip cuz I wanted to eat dinner na but JM and Xtiane wanted to play a game of chess! I was so mad, kasi they like don’t know how to play that game naman. They were just like making usog usog the chess pieces randomly. I thought to myself; “OMG, my friends are like posers…”. Eventually, they got frustrated enough, kasi one of them, can’t remember who, made kalat the chess pieces in the middle of the game. So we were like able to have dinner na. About time!

The three of us had dinner at Chiggy’s with Jamie. I started to get badtrip again cuz the tagaluto was taking so long cooking my super delicious liempo. My Gawd, how long does it take manong to make ihaw the meat ng baboy ba!? Then JM met a friend of his pa, and he thought I was a girl?! He said puro chicks daw ung kasama ni JM. That really leveled up my badtripness. WTF, I’m like totally manly kaya! After the long wait, we eventually got to eat na. When I was busog na, I wasn’t that badtrip anymore. JM wanted to drink beer to celebrate the end of the Sem daw. But I didn’t have money na… there was like twenty pesos in my wallet nalang. Buti nalang he had a preferential option for the poor and made me utang money so I can drink beer din. Yipee!

So we made sakay the tricycle and went to meatshop to chill and have a few beers. Jamie didn’t come with us na cuz it was like late na daw. Party pooper! So we had a round of beer. Then another. Then one more pa daw. After the third round, we were like laughing so loud na. We were like talking about anything under the buwan already. We were like in character pa ha… talking like konyos with the accent ‘n all. I think the peeps in meatshop were looking at us funny na. Why? Haven’t they seen and heard konyo people talk before ba? Posers… But I was surprised ha… JM had more than 2 beers last night. Usually kasi after his second beer he like goes to sleep on the table na. That night he had 4! Xtiane and I had like 5 beers. Then we ordered our sixth, but Xtiane couldn’t finish her sixth beer na. I was like so disappointed with my drinking buddy. So she offered me the rest of her beer nalng, since I’m so macho I said I’d finish both my beer and hers. But I didn’t get to prove my machoness kasi they wanted to go home na. sad…

We took a taxi and dropped JM off were he can make sakay a jeep going to Cubao. I told Xtiane that instead of getting down near my place, I’d make sabay until her house to make sure she got home safe and sound. I’m such a gentleman kasi eh. During the ride home, I thought naklimutan ko ung glasses ko… I was like “OMG Xtiane, I think I left my glasses ah…”. Then I felt my face, I was like wearing it na pala. Haha. Because of that I think Xtiane realized I was drunk narin so she said she could get home by her self na and that she would just text me nalng when she got there. I said yes, I really wanted to be macho and make hatid her pa but I was like sooo sleepy na. As in sleepy talaga. I was able to get home safely naman, and before I made higa on my bed, I made basa Xtiane’s txt that she was in her house narin.

Writing this post shaved off 10 IQ points. I think I’m going to give writing AND talking like a konyo (AKA stupid moron) a rest. When do I start? Like now na noh! XD

Remembering The Saddest Day in Existence

Going home from school yesterday was a bit of a drag. Aside from the fact that it was raining and I didn’t have a freakin’ umbrella (mine was stolen at Mc Donald’s a few weeks back. Give me back my umbrella a-hole!!!), the trains (LRT and MRT) were uber slow getting from one station to another. So, while I was waiting for the MRT to come along at the Cubao station, I overheard this girl talking to herself (yep, talking to herself XD). From what I could see, she was probably a nursing student (she had the uniform and some books in her hands), she was a bit short, but not half bad in the aesthetics department. Here’s the part that I heard:
“Haaay… eto na ang pinakamalungkot na araw sa buhay ko…”

Apparently, she noticed that I overheard her. She smiled at me and said

“Sorry, ganito lang talaga ako pag wala ako makausap, kinakausap ko sarili ko. Wala pa ko nakakausap since this morning eh…”

I chuckled, then I smiled in return and said “Uhhh.. Okay lang…”

After that brief dialogue, we both minded our own business. I know I should have probably started a conversation, seeing as she told me she hasn’t talked to anyone since this morning, and seeing that she was kinda cute, but I didn’t. Why? Because I’m shy and my mind started to wonder and did I say I was shy?

But honestly, though I was shy, my mind REALLY did wonder. What she said to me reminded me of my own saddest day; a day when I didn’t talk to a single solitary soul.

I was in my second year in college, it was the second semester and I had just shifted into AB Euro (my third course in the Ateneo). I didn’t know anyone in the classes I went to so I generally just kept my mouth shut during class. That particular day was a Wednesday; I left home at around 5:45 AM in order to get to my 7:30 class on time. Everyone at home was still asleep because my brother and sister didn’t have class that day (which also meant I had to fix my own breakfast XD). After a long commute to school, I got to class (PE), I sat at the back and minded my own business. After class, I went to the Library to read a novel (kalimutan ko na kung ano, “Laro sa Baga” ata, hahaha) and wait for my 10:30 class. When 1030 came, I went to my class (Fil 14, ugh… blah blah blah capitalism sux, blah blah blah why not try socialism… blah blah blah hail JoMa Sison) and minded my own business. I ate lunch alone at 11:30, then I went to the library to continue reading my book until 1:30. When 1:30 came along, I went to my class (Eco, sisiw) and minded my own business. My next class (accounting 10 or what I’d like to call accounting for idiots) at 2:30 pm was a free cut because we had a test at 6 pm. I went back to the library, not to study but to continue reading my book; I thought the test was gonna be a piece of cake. When the clock hit 6, I went to Escaler to take the test. The test was a piece of cake but it was depressingly long, I left at around 9:15 pm. I had a late dinner at Jollibee alone. After dinner, I started my long commute home (which was exceptionally longer that day due to traffic). I got home at around 11:30 pm. Everyone was asleep. I took a shower, and then I lay down on my bed feeling sorry for myself and my pathetic little existence.

During that day, I did not have a single conversation with anyone. The only things that came out of my mouth that were directed at other people were:
1. “bayad po”, “para po” (nung nag cocommute)
2. “isang chicken strips at isang tang” (during lunch)
3. “isang meal number 3, go-large ung drink” (during dinner)

After I recalled my experience, I felt I could totally relate to this girl who probably just went through the same experience I did. I suddenly had the urge to start a conversation with her. Maybe having someone to talk to during the train ride home would probably help her a lot. I know it would’ve helped me a lot if some one had talked to me on that stupid day long ago. Plus, she really was kinda cute. But just as I was about to make my move, the train was already at the Shaw station, my stop. Shoot. Oh well… I just smiled at her again (she smiled back) and walked out of the train trying to look as cool as possible in the process.

Dammit! I really should’ve talked to her!! That was my Sassy Girl moment right there and I let it slip away because I remembered something stupid about me!! Curse me and my egotism!!

As a tribute to this experience, here’s a song post; I BELIEVE by Jimmy Bondoc (from the My Sassy Girl Sountrack)

I Believe
Na ikaw lang at ako…
Sana ay, mahal mo rin ako…

Joke lang!! Jimmy Bondoc ampota!!! Hell No!! Not in my blog!! Yuck!! Sh*t!! So Jologs…