Alias the Movie

I watched Mission: Impossible 3 last Wednesday (opening day! Weeeee!). After work, JM, LaC and I went to Market Market to catch Mr. Katie Holmes in action. Though I was already pooped, I didn’t mind watching the movie ‘cause I was pretty hyped about the flick.

I thought the movie was going back to its roots. M:I 2 should have been okay by me. The only problem was that it was a Mission Impossible movie. Now, I’m one of those guys who think John Woo movies are cool, but Mission: Impossible is not about a double berretta wielding, one man army who loves to spin in slow mo amidst a flock of pigeons taking flight. It was always about a team of talented people who specialized in different aspects of espionage (disguise, computer systems, automobiles etc.) coming together to pull off a mission that is well… impossible.

As I said, I expected Mission: Impossible to go back to its roots. M:I 3 was helmed by JJ Abrams, the guy who created the TV series Alias. I thought: “this guy should now what he’s doing", he created a series about agents, double agents and terrorist organizations that is currently in its fifth season. I thought he was damn qualified to direct Mission Impossible 3. The repercussions of having this guy as its director only hit me about 30 minutes or so into the movie.

Like my title states, Mission: Impossible 3 is Alias the movie. Apparently, Abrams used up all his ideas in the five seasons of Alias, cause he didn’t come up with anything new for this movie. Abrams used every plot device found in Alias for M: I 3! Here are some examples:

The Pacing
Like a number of episodes of Alias, M:I 3 starts off with the protagonist (Ethan Hunt) tied to a chair (beaten and bruised), being interrogated by the bad guy. Again, like it always happens in Alias, the movie then backtracks several hours and shows you step by step how the good guy got into that predicament. It shows this by making Ethan Hunt go through a couple of mission briefings where he argues with the boss, has some comical conversation with the tech guy, he has some lovey-dovey sequences here and there, it then has agent Hunt run around various locales around the globe. Eventually, Ethan Hunt allows his ass to get caught, then we wind up where the movie starts off. When it gets back to this point, just like Sydney Bristow before him, Ethan Hunt escapes, whips the bad guy’s butt and saves the day. Tah-Dah!!!

The Secret Weapon
Alias has those mysterious Rambaldi devices. M:I 3 has the “Anti-God”/Rabbit’s foot. A weapon that is apparently so god-damned powerful that it can wipe out anything and everything from the face of the earth. Just like the Rambaldi device, what the Anti-God actually is wasn’t explained.

Spy Meetings
Just like Sydney Bristow and her handler Michael Vaughn, Ethan Hunt apparently loves meeting with his handler in inconspicuous locations like Seven Eleven convenience stores.

Code Names
M:I 3 uses the codename Phoenix in one of the black ops depicted (Phoenix is a codename used by Jennifer Garner’s character).

Cameos
If that wasn’t enough, the guy who plays Eric Wise on Alias (the fat guy who‘s bein partnered with Sydney’s sister Nadia) does a cameo, hell even the girl who plays Felicity on Felicity (another television series created by JJ Abrams) has a role in M:I 3.

Finally, just like Alias, the movie has an anti climactic ending. After all the great stunts and explosions in the beginning and in the middle of the movie, the ending was a major let down. Alias always gets a chance to redeem itself ‘cause there always is a next episode. Obviously, M:I 3 doesn’t have that luxury.

Off course the movie had its good points. Here’s 2 of them; Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Maggie Q. Hoffman played the sadistic badass to the T. Maggie Q was hot, plain and simple.

The movie was so identical to Alias in so many levels that in the end, I half-expected Tom Cruise to rip his face off to reveal Jennifer Garner.

In conclusion, JJ Abrams wasn’t the man for the job. In retrospect, they should have gotten some one like Michael Bay (Bad Boys 2, The Island) to direct M:I 3. The guy who directed the Bourne movies would have done a good job too… I think.