If I were… No. 2

I few months back, I posted the predecessor of this post. To refresh everyone’s memory, the theme of the post was screwing the tests we commonly see on different blogs (“What color are you”, “What kind of lover are you etc etc…) and taking hold of your own destiny by making up your own damn results. With out further bullshit, let’s move onward!

If I were a character in One Tree Hill



I would be Peyton Sawyer! Tada! Not only is she the resident artist of the show (like me in real life), she’s also totally hot (like me in real life). ‘nuf said.

Pero in all honesty, mas magaling ako mag drawing sa kanya, plus iba kami ng artistic preference. I’m not into feeling-profound-shit like she is. Plus I’m not moody and I’m past the whole I-have-a-screwed-up-family-and-no-one-understands-me phase of my life. Pero in fairness, kahit na masmagaling ako magdrawing, mas hot siya sakin (pero onti lng).

I know you guys are thinking “Mike, pohta babae yan pinili mong character! Are you drugs!? Ok ka lng!?” To that I say, “Who else should I choose?” I can’t pick Nathan or Lucas Scott kasi Lord knows I totally suck at basketball (yes, you heard right people I beat at basketball, the only reason some people lose to me is because they suck more at the game than I do). Actually there’s one character na pipiliin ko dapat. There’s this obscure character named Tim (ung sobra tactless guy na best friend ni Nathan), but wala ko mahanp na picture nya sa net. Obscure talaga. Haha. Kaya I ended up with Peyton Sawyer.

If I were a girl

I’ve been reading some of Jme’s recent blog posts, according to those posts, some of her relatives said that we look a like (kind of like Conan O Brien and the president of Finland or some other country).

To that “accusation” I say that most of the time, relatives think you are more attractive than you really are. XD

Bwahahaha!!!

Pero wag ka magalit Jme, maganda ka naman e. Kaya lang pag naging babae ako, mas hot ako sayo! Thus, If I were a girl I’d be…

Elisha Cuthbert.



And oh yeah, If I were a girl I’d be a lesbian, I’d totally hang out with other hot girls and make out and do other wonderful stuff hot lesbians do.

Finally, If I were an American Idol Contestant

I’m guessing most of you are familiar with Ace. How about Chris or Taylor? Well, they’re morons! Losers and peons all of them! Bah! (In my best Simon Cowell Impression) In fact all of them are absolutely horrible that I’m not gonna choose from their ranks. Instead, I would rather be our very own Pinoy pop super star….

Mark Bautista



Pucha, wala naman cnabi yang mga American Idol nay an kay Lastikman! Tignan nyo namn, nagpapa macho pa o. Naaalala ko tuloy ung kalakasan ni George Estregan. Hahahahaha! Cool pa ung song nya:

Song Post #4
You win the game
You have no shame!
And I’m always gonna love you more!!!!

Sobra astig to dapat ito ung entrance music ni “The Game” Triple HHH sa WWE.
Panalo yun.

Alias the Movie

I watched Mission: Impossible 3 last Wednesday (opening day! Weeeee!). After work, JM, LaC and I went to Market Market to catch Mr. Katie Holmes in action. Though I was already pooped, I didn’t mind watching the movie ‘cause I was pretty hyped about the flick.

I thought the movie was going back to its roots. M:I 2 should have been okay by me. The only problem was that it was a Mission Impossible movie. Now, I’m one of those guys who think John Woo movies are cool, but Mission: Impossible is not about a double berretta wielding, one man army who loves to spin in slow mo amidst a flock of pigeons taking flight. It was always about a team of talented people who specialized in different aspects of espionage (disguise, computer systems, automobiles etc.) coming together to pull off a mission that is well… impossible.

As I said, I expected Mission: Impossible to go back to its roots. M:I 3 was helmed by JJ Abrams, the guy who created the TV series Alias. I thought: “this guy should now what he’s doing", he created a series about agents, double agents and terrorist organizations that is currently in its fifth season. I thought he was damn qualified to direct Mission Impossible 3. The repercussions of having this guy as its director only hit me about 30 minutes or so into the movie.

Like my title states, Mission: Impossible 3 is Alias the movie. Apparently, Abrams used up all his ideas in the five seasons of Alias, cause he didn’t come up with anything new for this movie. Abrams used every plot device found in Alias for M: I 3! Here are some examples:

The Pacing
Like a number of episodes of Alias, M:I 3 starts off with the protagonist (Ethan Hunt) tied to a chair (beaten and bruised), being interrogated by the bad guy. Again, like it always happens in Alias, the movie then backtracks several hours and shows you step by step how the good guy got into that predicament. It shows this by making Ethan Hunt go through a couple of mission briefings where he argues with the boss, has some comical conversation with the tech guy, he has some lovey-dovey sequences here and there, it then has agent Hunt run around various locales around the globe. Eventually, Ethan Hunt allows his ass to get caught, then we wind up where the movie starts off. When it gets back to this point, just like Sydney Bristow before him, Ethan Hunt escapes, whips the bad guy’s butt and saves the day. Tah-Dah!!!

The Secret Weapon
Alias has those mysterious Rambaldi devices. M:I 3 has the “Anti-God”/Rabbit’s foot. A weapon that is apparently so god-damned powerful that it can wipe out anything and everything from the face of the earth. Just like the Rambaldi device, what the Anti-God actually is wasn’t explained.

Spy Meetings
Just like Sydney Bristow and her handler Michael Vaughn, Ethan Hunt apparently loves meeting with his handler in inconspicuous locations like Seven Eleven convenience stores.

Code Names
M:I 3 uses the codename Phoenix in one of the black ops depicted (Phoenix is a codename used by Jennifer Garner’s character).

Cameos
If that wasn’t enough, the guy who plays Eric Wise on Alias (the fat guy who‘s bein partnered with Sydney’s sister Nadia) does a cameo, hell even the girl who plays Felicity on Felicity (another television series created by JJ Abrams) has a role in M:I 3.

Finally, just like Alias, the movie has an anti climactic ending. After all the great stunts and explosions in the beginning and in the middle of the movie, the ending was a major let down. Alias always gets a chance to redeem itself ‘cause there always is a next episode. Obviously, M:I 3 doesn’t have that luxury.

Off course the movie had its good points. Here’s 2 of them; Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Maggie Q. Hoffman played the sadistic badass to the T. Maggie Q was hot, plain and simple.

The movie was so identical to Alias in so many levels that in the end, I half-expected Tom Cruise to rip his face off to reveal Jennifer Garner.

In conclusion, JJ Abrams wasn’t the man for the job. In retrospect, they should have gotten some one like Michael Bay (Bad Boys 2, The Island) to direct M:I 3. The guy who directed the Bourne movies would have done a good job too… I think.

2 Weeks with the Man

Last April 17, I closed a chapter in my life by starting work. I kissed the bum life goodbye, donned my worker bee costume and became part of the hive that is bitmicro. In this post, I’d like to share some of the stuff about my first two weeks of being a cubicle worker. Before I proceed, I beg you, please don’t expect a coherent train of thought (as if my previous posts had one… ha!), or any semblance of a main idea. Instead, brace yourself for a good helping of rants and ramblings.

-Question #1: Ano ba talaga work ko?
Some of my friends asked me this before I started working. The answer I always gave was that I’d be a programmer that programs solid state memory storage devices. But I didn’t even know what the f*ck a solid state memory device is. Now I do. Basically it’s a hard disk that has a series of flash memory devices instead of a rotating disk. I write programs for those things. So there (pero ngayon, di pa ko marunong… but knowing is half the battle ryt?).

-Question #2: San ung work ko?
The place I work in is located at the 11th floor of the Net 1 center in the fort. Saying that I’m a cubicle worker is not exactly true. That’s because I don’t have my own cubicle. I have a work station. The place looks more like a computer laboratory than an office. Para lang ako nasa Computer lab sa Ateneo. Depressing. Well, at least I have my own PC... (Pero lilipat daw sa Net 1 Plaza by September, sana may cubicles na)

-Rant #1: Intranet
Though I have my own PC, the damn thing doesn’t have an internet connection. Because of that I can’t waste company time on YM, fantasy NBA, or blogging like charles does. All I have is collabrix (para shang YM na LAN lng). Du’n kami nag gagaguhan nila JM and LaC (oh yeah, office mates ko cla, kya lng c LaC sa ibang floor na assign). Kahit two seats away lang c JM, nag co collabrix pa kami. Hahahaha!

-Rant #2: The Mystery of the Dying Cellphone
Another thing na nakaka asar is that cellphones aren’t allowed in your work station (para daw di I divulge ang company secrets), you have to leave it in a shelf near the guard. Every time you wanna use your phone, you have to get up and go to a designated area. Okay lang sana sa akin, but my damn phone is a piece of crap. For some reason, every time I leave it on the shelf, the damn thing powers off. It doesn’t matter if it’s fully charged or not, my phone just dies. But when I take it away from the shelf (during lunch breaks or when I go home), the blasted thing works fine. I think it doesn’t like being around lots of cell phones, why? I dunno. Radiation? EM fields maybe? Email ko kaya si sir Libatique to find out?

-Rant #3: I want Money, lots and lots of Money...
Today is April 28, 2006. Everybody got paid today. Except for the new guys (which includes me)!!! It seems that sa May 15 pa ang first pay check namin ‘cause alanganin pa daw ang number of work days namin. And I thought that I was going to be able to swim in a vault full of money like Mr. Scrooge from “Ducktales” tonight. Depressing!

-Nerdness lv up
********
mike lv 30
********
int +13
dex -11
AGI -10
*******
learned new skill: "C Programming!"

I had to relearn C programming ‘cause I forgot how (And the stuff I forgot was not much to begin with XD). I had to become one with the pointers, structures, linked lists etc. I was so into it that one day, while reading a book on C programming, the author made a joke that went something like:

#include

#define { begin:
#define } end:

main()
begin:
printf(“Hello World\n”);
end:

I caught myself laughing at the joke… Shit ang nerd ko na.

-Fun with Mike and Friends entry #11
Cast: JM and LaC

Like I said earlier, nag co collabrix kaming tatlo lagi. Now, collabrix has this feature that allows you to “broadcast a message” (think SMS using PCs). While working, I suddenly received a message from JM (which he broadcasted to me and LaC) that read:

“NATATAE AKO!!”

Like I said, nag gagaguhan kami lagi, so I paid no attention to it. After a while LaC changed her online status to “Do not Disturb”. Her status was like that for about half an hour (napaisip tuloy ako: “wow, seryoso sa work sobra c lac”). When her status went back to “available” I asked her why she didn’t want to be disturbed. Apparently, her boss was using her PC when out of the blue:

Broadcast Message from JM Lukban:

“NATATAE AKO!!!”

Hahahahaha!!! It gets better, her seatmates happened to read the message and it spread like wildfire that some guy from the 11th floor named JM Lukban broadcasted that he wanted to take a shit.

That’s it for now… dami ko pa gusto sabihin kaya lang bawal mag divulge ng company stuff eh. Baka makulong ako XD.

The Story that Just Won’t Die

I’m talking about my encounter with Epok Quimpo sa Manang’s during my 2nd year in the Ateneo. Now, if you know me, (you most probably do since you’re reading my uber cool blog) you’ve most definitely heard the story AT LEAST once. Because of this and because I already documented the unfortunate incident in a previous post (Check: Mike the Embarassing Man), I won’t go into the story anymore. Instead I’m writing about something related to it.

Like the title states, the story just won’t die. I had dinner with Charles, Tay, Kabo and Darn last Saturday. During the usual boisterous banter that goes on when we get together, Darn brings up the usual story. But this time he added something new to the mythos (mythos ampota, para ng legend to a).

Now Darn is somehow acquainted to another Ateneo Blue Eagle; Magnum Membrere. How close are they you ask? Well, I don’t know (pero di naman cguro sila Broke Backers). Anyways, habang nag uusap si Darn and si Magnum, the story came up (I forgot who brought up the story though). But yung nakakagulat is that alam ni Magnum ung story!!! Apparently kinuwento ni Quimpo sa teammates nya na may mga Atenistang gusto sha I-trade! When I think about Epok Quimpo telling his teammates about the incident, I can’t help but shudder a little. Pucha, isipin nyo naman kung sino teammates nya nung time na yun! Villanueva, Alvarez, Fonacier, Tenorio, Bugia, Membrere… sama mo pa si Chia. Sila yung 2002 UAAP champions boys and girls. According to Membrere, pinagtawanan daw nila sobra si Epok, pero akala nila narinig lang ni Epok un kung saan saan. Chismis kumbaga. Little did they know that two jerks said it to his face! Mwahahahaha!

It’s a good thing Darn set the record straight for Magnum that it was Darn and me who unintentionally hurt the poor guy’s feelings. Sigh… The story has to be accurate dammit! The story will be passed on from 1 generation to another! It is the Legacy I leave to the Ateneo. Valedictorians, Summas, Magnas or whatever, they come and go…

The Epok-for-Cortez Story will on live forever!!! Bwahahahahah!!! Okay… probably not forever. Okay na sakin mga a few more months.