Who do I find at the End of My Road? Chuck Norris That’s Who

I woke up this afternoon with a hangover thanks to Xtiane’s graduation celebration last night. While I was lying on my bed, I realized what I didn’t appreciate when school ended, or when I walked up the stage to shake Father Nebres’ hand during the commencement exercises. It dawned on me that it WAS over. I also realized that I can be such a hypocrite (or a lying sack of shit if you prefer) sometimes. I always told anyone who would listen to me for 2 seconds that I couldn’t wait to graduate, that I couldn’t wait to finally haul my ass out of the Ateneo after 6 long years. But I didn’t feel any satisfaction at that moment, lying on my bed realizing I’ve come to the end of a proverbial road. Shit, I didn’t even feel relief. What I felt, cheesy as it may sound, was this big black empty hole inside my chest. I finally graduated and I can honestly say that I am going to miss going to Ateneo. I’m going to miss CTC 208, the caf, even the shitty excuse for a building that is Faura. But what I am really gonna miss are the people (shit ang cheesy to the max na nito ah) who one way or another, made my life interesting (friends, classmates, teachers, the pretty girls with mini skirts, even the doobie guys who chill along the SEC walkway). I probably won’t see most of them for a very long time. I made some great friends during the last six years, and we probably are going to keep in touch (sana naman! Walang kalimutan mga peeps!), but we no longer are going to hang out in school, eat lunch in the caf or buy cheese dog sandwiches in the “Satellite Caf” (kahit na nagkikita kita ang mga friends, iba parin ung nag ha hang out sa school). Thinking about being unable to do the things I took for granted for so long makes me feel like crap.

Shit! This is the first and last time I’m going to admit it. I am going to miss the Ateneo; Saying that I hated my stay is a load of bullshit. I’m going to miss my friends. I loved and hated graduation day at the same time. I enjoyed every hot, humid second of it. If I were given the chance to live my college life again I would (sans the tests, oral exams and hell weeks kung pwede. Ha-ha).

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Okaaay. Tama na cheesy stuff. Bring in some funnies!!! After feeling mildly depressed, I picked myself up and decided to surf the net. A friend of mine recently told me about Chuck Norris jokes circulating around the net (blogs, forums email etc.). He said that the jokes were really funny. So I decided to check them out. I googled “Chuck Norris Jokes” and found the most comprehensive site and started reading. Were they funny? Let’s just say that after the 6th or 7th joke, tears were literary falling from my eyes because of hysterical laughter. I’m gonna post some of them below (sobra tip of the ice berg mga ‘to, sobra dami e). Before reading, I advice that you read not just one, but a lot of them because these jokes are like beer; hinde pwede isang inom lang, kelangan uminom ka ng marami para masarapan ka.



Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have
a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in
every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just
bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly
says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in
the face.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
her into a glacier.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt
to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her
a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

if you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

Okay ba? I know the jokes are not for everyone. But I think people who at least have an inkling as to whom Chuck Norris is will find them funny. if you wanna check out more Chuck Norris Fun, check this site:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com