Give Me Back My Name

Ask yourself this;

"What makes a guy, who hasn't touched his blog for about 3 months, post an entry on Christmas Day?"

I'll tell you what: His Name

A name is more than just letters stringed together, a name is an aspect of one's existence. In a way a name defines who a person is. A name makes a person an individual, it differentiates him or her from the rest oh humanity...

For about 20+ years, i have been confident in the knowledge that i am the only michael domondon that exists on this planet. My identity as a person was secure. I was special. i was unique...

Well apperently, i've been living a f**kn lie.

Just a couple of minutes ago, i tried searching for my name in google just for kicks, when i saw it. Someone else is using the divine, awesome, not to mention totally cool name that is michael domondon!!!!

Oh the outrage! Oh the humanity!

Of course i was curious about the dude, so i checked out his blog; If you wanna take a peek, be my guest.

http://gattacaboy.blogspot.com

But why you'd rather go over there instead of reading the awesomeness of my literary stylings i have no idea.

After a brisk assesment of his blog, i can say without a shadow of doubt, that i am absatively superior to that pirate, that bootlegger that... that name grabber, in every aspect. He should stop using that name at once.

Hey person-that-is-using-my-name, change your name to something else! You look more like a George, or a Borgy anyways.

The name Michael Domondon is already taken

Give me back my name damn you!!!

Conversation with "The One"

Neo: The Matrix is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work... when you go to church... when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.

Mike: Erm... Okie

Neo: This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.

Mike: I don't want no pills! What do you think I am?! Drugs?!

Neo: Then what do you want?

Mike: Eagle Eggs. Eagle Powers kick ass man!

Neo: I'm trying to free your mind, Mike. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it.

Mike: Yeah. Well, that sounds like a pretty good deal. But I think I may have a better one. How about, I give you the finger.

Neo: The Eagle Eggs are a lie! A lie! They give you no eagle powers! They give you no nutrients!

Mike: Whatever... eagle eggs are the bomb pare!

Neo: I know kung-fu.

Mike: No use threatening me man. I watched the movie. You do NOT know kung fu.

Neo: (using his cell phone) Mr. Wizard. Get me the hell out of here.

Mike: One thing before you go...

Neo: Yes?

Mike: The Lake House was crap.

Ready Steady Bowl!

Hello true believers! I went bowling about a week ago. This post is about bowling. Enjoy!

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Transcending history and the world… is a tale of brave bowlers eternally told…

Each of them a legend in their own right, each of them gifted by the bowling gods with a distinct bowling style, all, but one of them, really suck at bowling . Behold the BOWLERS of DESTINY!!!

Fred “the Philosopher” Tay
Aliases: The swallow, the Zen Master
School: Discipline Of the Timid Attack (DOTA)

“Fierce rock roll down path and crash at mountain, but mountain not move. Flowing water, sure and true, tumble mountain down eventually”
-old Chinese dude

Pag si tay tumira, everything is in slow motion, he holds the ball for a few seconds, taking his sweet time, then he calmly walks down the lane (step by agonizing slow step) and ever so gently lays the bowling ball into the ground. The bowling ball then rolls down at a snails pace and gently pushes the pins with the least amount of force possible. Kng nakakita ka ng nag ta tai-chi, ganun ka bagal ung movements ni Tay.

Mike “Lucky Spare” Domondon
Aliases: The Avatar of Excellence, The Definer of Coolness
School: Electronics and Communications of Bowling (6 Years)

“I’m ready! I’m Ready! I’m Ready –Eddy Yeddy!”

According to Tay and Kabo, puro chamba lng daw ung mga spare ko. Hahaha!!! I have to admit na tama sila. The times when I actually knocked the pins down are the times when I wasn’t actually thinking about knocking down any pins. When I concentrate on making the ball go straight, the blasted thing goes left or right (Stupid ball). But, when I think about other stuff, the chances of the ball going straight are higher. Case and point; I distinctly remember singing “Who lives in a pineapple under sea? Sponge Bob Square Pants!” in my head in one of my turns were I actually hit a strike. Pero kahit na puro chamba lng ako, 2nd higest namn ako! Ha! “Who ever said nobody remembers 2nd place?” I do Dammit!!!

Ryan “Gutter Ball” Chan
Aliases: Bowlzilla (Rawr!)
School: Nacho Libre School of Bowling

“The Eagle eggs were a lie! A lie!!! They give me no bowling powers! They give me no Nutrients!”

Kabo has two moves:
Ryan CRUSH!!! (D, DF, F +Punch Button)
-A powerful attack where kabo flails the bowling ball down the lane with all his might. Hit % of 25 percent. 75% Gutter Ball

Ryan SMASH!!! (D, DB, B + Punch Button)
-A more powerful attack than Ryan CRUSH!!! Follow up move to Ryan CRUSH!!! done in the next turn.
Hit % of 10 percent. 90% Gutter ball

*Both moves are done with a primal scream (Guh-Rahhhhhh!!!!)
**Ryan CRUSH!!! and Ryan SMASH!!! are the intellectual properties of Mark Frederick Tay


Tops “Bowling Master Boy” Yap
Aliases: Tops The Heavenly Ball, Yap Taicho (Captain)
School: self taught

“You must defeat Paeng Nepomuceno to stand a chance”

In actuality, si Tops lang naman talaga ang marunong mag bowling sa amin e. Sha lng ang may mad bowling skilz. Hustler ampota! Addict sa bowling! Almost every turn, strike or spare (Tops Zone!)! Tapos hindi pa sha satisfied sa score nya, kahit na tambak kami sobra! Yabang! Sipa nalng tayo! Or Patintero! Bring it!!!

Long Weekend

Thank you Ninoy Aquino! Because of your sacrifice more than a decade ago, I, Mike the invincible man, get a reprieve from work today. As corrupt, poor, stagnant and virtually hopeless our country is today, your actions have at least brought a little joy into my life. In order to show my appreciation, I say “Screw You!” to those who say Ninoy was a communist.

Anyhow, this post is about how I spent my long weekend, mainly watching DVDs, so, this post is actually about the DVDs I watched and not about me, but its technically about me because a was the one doing the watching, ‘cause watching DVDs is what I did during the long weekend and since this post is entitled the Long Weekend, it is also about watching DVDs, which is what I did, so this post is also about what i did because I am MOOOOOJOOO JOJO!!!

Err…

Okay, now that I got that out of my system, I met some of my batch mates from college in metrowalk for a semi batch reunion sort of thing. We had dinner, a few drinks and we talked about stuff (Lui Agustin got married!! Whoa!!!). I had a blast although marami umalis ng maaga (can franz and avic, dulce and grace). Saka si jme hindi sumipot, inuna ung ADTX bago ung kanyang batch mates (sha pa namn isa sa nagyayaya)… tsk tsk.

Since I got home at around 1:30 in the morning, I woke up at around 1ish in the afternoon. I actually had my weekend planned, i ma marathon ko dapat ung season 1 ng Lost, which I borrowed from my officemate especially for the weekend. Well, I didn’t watch lost, instead I watched a couple of japanovellas (uhm, this word doesn’t sound right, so I’ll just use jap TV shows instead); Densha Otoko (Train Man) and Hana Yori Dango (Boys over flowers).

Densha Otoko

The show, is about an otaku (basically a Japanese male who loves anime, comics, video games and all related merchandise to the EXTREME)/loser who saves a beautiful girl from a drunk guy on a train. He of course falls for the girl but he has no idea whatsoever how to go about wooing said girl, he posts his story on an internet message board where various eccentric individuals help him in his task of improving his image and getting his love interest.



In most underdog love stories, the guy is a regular joe and the girl is a figurative goddess, in this series the guy isn’t even a regular joe, he’s total loser (the girl is still a goddess). Because of that, you can’t help getting behind him (everyone loves the underdog) in his quest to get a girl that is seemingly beyond his reach. This is where the show gets its good moments. But sometimes, the story gets so dragging (there are lot of scenes were they just show the guy talking to various people in the internet), you just want to kick his damn ass.

All in all, the show is okay. I wouldn’t recommend it to just anyone though. You should have at least a “little otaku in you” to appreciate it (pero di namn to the point na katulad nung guys depicted sa series, shit creepy sila).

Hana Yori Dango



Hana Yori Dango is based on a Japanese manga with the same name. Its about a poor girl who studies in a school for the extremely rich were she meets 4 guys, two of which she falls in loves with. Sounds familiar? Well it damn should. The manga Hana Yori Dango is also the basis for another show; Meteor Garden (if you haven’t at least heard of this show, you’re probably a hermit or something).



I can’t compare the shows ‘cause I never really got to watch Meteor Garden in full. I actually saw the first few episodes (during one of my summer breaks when it first aired), but I had to stop ‘cause I had summer classes (they showed it early afternoon I think). Then the show got sooooooo huge that even though they moved up the time slot, I didn’t bother watching ‘cause everyone was watching it already (I think I have masa-phobia). But even though I barely saw it, I know its basic story (You can’t help it, its like the Sixth Sense, even though you didn’t see the movie, the news that Bruce Willis was a ghost eventually reaches you), and I can say that its similar to Hana Yori Dango’s (except for the ending).

So which one is better? Uhm… I dunno. But if I had to pick I’d go for Hana Yori Dango, because Makino Tsukushi, the show’s Shan Cai (I don’t know the spelling, sorry kabo), is waaaaaaaayyyyyyy hotter than her meteor garden counterpart. She has the whole Japanese school girl thing going for her.

I recommend this show to fans of Meteor Garden. I’d love to hear their opinions, arguments or rants as to which show is actually superior.

Noir Art, Voyeurism and a Couple of Movies

This is a three part post of three totally unrelated things. You’re probably gonna see a lot more of these types of posts because I rarely get the chance to update my blog.

Noir Art

A few days back, I saw this tutorial on the internet how to transform photos into graphic novel style art, like the ones you’d commonly find in the pages of Sin City. Sooooo… I decided to take a crack at it. Here’s what came out of it;



Can anyone guess where the quote came from? Haha.

Making this type of thing is relatively easy. It can be done in about thirty minutes. Wala kasi mashado work, pag manipulate lng ng layers, levels etc. Sisiw! Haha.

Voyeurism

Right next to the building where I work is a high-end condominium with an outdoor swimming pool. You know what that means right? Oh yeah! Babe watching baby! If you’re gonna tell me that I should be ashamed of myself, don’t bother. The guys from work have been doing it long before I started working there. So, like they say; When in Rome, do what the Romans do. But Ateneans want to do things better than anybody else! That’s why I brought erm… binoculars to work. Mwahahahahaha! (me washing my hands: hey di lng ako ung nagdala. Si Jm din. Hihihi).

Anyhoo, one day, this foreign girl in an uber mini two piece bikini (with leopard pattern design I might add) and some schmoe who I presume is her boyfriend decided to go for a dip. The girl was pretty hot, so I got my binoculars and started uhm appreciating God’s work. Usually when we “observe” all the girl does is swim and/or sun bathe. That day was different. They were in the Jacuzzi-like-thingy and they started getting, shall we say; dirty. The guy had his hands all over the babe (lucky stinking good for nothing rich idiotic piece of bird dropping bastard), literally feeling up her private places. And the girl was into it! Shit! She was like spreading her legs and wiggling her ass in the guy’s face (both while her crotch or her butt was about a foot away from the guy’s noggin’)! And you know what? I think she knew they were being watched! She kept glancing at the direction of our windows. The girl was working it for an audience! The little tease! Work stopped and mouths hung open for about an hour because of that very lewd but extremely entertaining display. The next day, before going into the building, I took a look at the windows. You definitely can see through it, which supports the theory that the girl knew she was being watched and it probably flipped her switch.

I need more powerful binoculars.

A Couple of movies
I saw a couple of movies in the last few days.

The first movie I saw was Miami Vice (with Tay, Kabo, Charles and Tops). It was crap. They had loads of scenes were Collin Farrell and Gong Lee (Hatsumomo from Memoirs of a Geisha) get in on. Good right? Nope. I’d like to classify “getting it on” in the movies into three categories. The first is the raunchy, torrid semi porn type (e.g. Basic Instinct). The second is the tastefully done type (usually for those love stories like the Note Book). Finally the third is the boring type where because of various reasons (I.e. no chemistry, poor characterization, bland camera shots etc.) you go “oh enough already, we get the idea! Pan to a shot of the wind blowing through some curtains or something!”

The second movie I watched was Click (with Xtiane, Jm and IC). The movie was ok. As with almost all of Adam Sandler’s movies (except Spanglish), I loved the soundtrack. 80’s music rulz man!!! The only thing I didn’t like was the ending. Why does Hollywood think that the “Everybody Lives Happily Ever After” is a necessity in feel good romantic comedies like Click? If it didn’t have the Hollywood Ending, the movie would have been better. Oh yeah, Kate Beckinsale was hot! She looks just as good in her Pocahontas outfit for this movie as her in that leather clad outfit in Underworld.

Now for some movie news…

The joker for the sequel for Batman Begins has been cast. The Joker is… Heathe “Brokebacker” Ledger. I think it’s a good choice. Hope the joker isn’t homo though. Haha.

Good news for all of you Sandman fans, Neil Gaiman has confirmed that a movie is going to be made and that he *gasp plans to direct it himself. The only reason I see for fans to be disappointed is that the movie is going to be based on the mini series “Death: The High Cost of Living” and not the actual Sandman graphic novels.

Mike’s 4 Steps in Dealing with Frustration

Step 1: Sarcasm
I ride the MRT going to and coming home from work (dati going to work lang, but since nag resign na si LaC, wala na ako sasabayan every afternoon going home. Sad). Now, If you haven’t tried taking the train at around 7 in the morning or around 5 in the afternoon, you should. ‘Cause your missing a lot boys and girls! What fun it is to abandon all sense of decency to fight your way through the dreaded hordes in order to pack yourselves like sardines inside the train. And the aroma is just divine. Oh yes, the sweet heavenly smell of day old sweat clinging to the bodies of your fellow passengers is like aged wine to the senses. I urge everyone to give it a try.

Step 2: Ranting
To those of you who don’t know, the MRT adapted the system that the LRT1 uses. It reserves a car exclusively for female passengers. I’m cool with that (I’m not sexist). What I find annoying is how some of the female passengers insist on riding on the other cars even though one car is reserved just for them. Now if the other cars were relatively vacant I wouldn’t mind. But there I am trying with all my might to move my body away from some guy’s crotch when some woman tries to squeeze herself into the already packed car even though the car for women has tons of space! What’s with that dammit!? If the girl is with company, say her boyfriend or some friends, I, again, wouldn’t mind her in that part of the train (cause, cheesy as it may be, I don’t think its fair to separate people who don’t wanna be separated). But those loners, what reason do they have for making life difficult for all the passengers? Is that how they get their kicks? Or is it some perverse fetish perhaps? Whatever it is, damn them!!!

Step 3: Funny Anecdote
The train ride to work this morning was horrible as usual. The train was so packed that I thanked God for every station we passed, edging me closer to my stop; Ayala Station a.k.a. Sweet Freedom. When the train reached Ayala, I scrambled my way to the train’s doors (everyone scrambles, either you move fast or you get off on the next station) when somebody grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the door, hard! “What the hell is going on?!” I thought to myself. When I got out of the train, I saw that the person who was pulling my hand for dear life was some girl (not a pretty one if your curious). “Uhm…” I said making my presence known. The girl turns around, catches sight of me and says; “Ay…” It dawns on me she grabbed my hand by mistake. The hand she should’ve taken was…

I looked behind me and there he was. An orc in all his glory. He gave me his “hath-garesk-Shuk-bah” (translated from orc: “Insolent-human-I’m-gonna-rip-off-your-penis-and-stuff-it-down-your-throat) look. In response, I wanted to give him my “as-if-I-grabbed-her-hand-she-grabbed-mine-so-get-out-of-my-fuckin’-face-jabronie” look, but since he looked like an orc on steroids, I gave him my “erm-I-have-no-idea-what’s-happening” look. Apparently that was good enough for him. Phew.

Nagulat cguro ung girl when she realized she was holding the hand of a man-god instead of her sorry excuse for an orcfriend. Ahahahahahaha!!!!

Step 4: Song
When the fantasy has ended
And all the children are gone
There’s something good inside me
That helps me to carry on

I ate some bugs, I ate some grass
I used my hand, to wipe my tears
To kiss your mouth, I’d break my vows
No no no no no no way jose
Unless you want to, then we break our vows together

Encarnacion
Encarnacio –oh ho ho on
Encarnación (doobeedee doobeedee)
Encarnacio-oh ho ho on

Nachooooooo!!!!

My blog is alive!!!

Wow, I’ts been a long time since I updated this blasted thing. I’m like soooooooo busy at work kasi e. You know?

-I wake up at 5 am, and eat soup (magi). I Love It!!

-Then I go to the office and stare at the computer all day. Wonderful!!

-Then, if I stay for a few more months, I will sit on my chair and read Specs and program in C for the REST of MY LIFE! Fantastic!

Anyhoo, lets get down to the “nitty gritty”. I watched Nacho Libre not once but twice! The first time, I was with Tay and Kabo. I have to say, almost from the start of the opening credits, to the ending credits, Everyone in the cinema was lauging their asses off. Except of course one person: yep you guessed it, Ryan Dennison “I-Don’t -Have-A Freakin’-Sense-Of-Humor” Chan. He hated the movie sooo much that by the end, when the rest of us smiling happy people were walking out of the theater in good spirits, Kabo was shouting “Crap!” “ That was the sorriest excuse for a movie EVER” etc. etc. etc. Well, ya know what? That made me enjoy the whole experience even more! Haha! Thanx Kabo.

I watched the movie the second time around with Xtiane and LaC. The movie was still damn funny! Buti nalng hindi "just my luck" pinanood namin. Shit Depressing un. Lalo na’t hindi na Fully Loaded si Lindsay Lohan… What’s the point? Haha.

All in all, watching the movie twice was worth my monies. Until next time.

xxooXxOox

If I were… No. 2

I few months back, I posted the predecessor of this post. To refresh everyone’s memory, the theme of the post was screwing the tests we commonly see on different blogs (“What color are you”, “What kind of lover are you etc etc…) and taking hold of your own destiny by making up your own damn results. With out further bullshit, let’s move onward!

If I were a character in One Tree Hill



I would be Peyton Sawyer! Tada! Not only is she the resident artist of the show (like me in real life), she’s also totally hot (like me in real life). ‘nuf said.

Pero in all honesty, mas magaling ako mag drawing sa kanya, plus iba kami ng artistic preference. I’m not into feeling-profound-shit like she is. Plus I’m not moody and I’m past the whole I-have-a-screwed-up-family-and-no-one-understands-me phase of my life. Pero in fairness, kahit na masmagaling ako magdrawing, mas hot siya sakin (pero onti lng).

I know you guys are thinking “Mike, pohta babae yan pinili mong character! Are you drugs!? Ok ka lng!?” To that I say, “Who else should I choose?” I can’t pick Nathan or Lucas Scott kasi Lord knows I totally suck at basketball (yes, you heard right people I beat at basketball, the only reason some people lose to me is because they suck more at the game than I do). Actually there’s one character na pipiliin ko dapat. There’s this obscure character named Tim (ung sobra tactless guy na best friend ni Nathan), but wala ko mahanp na picture nya sa net. Obscure talaga. Haha. Kaya I ended up with Peyton Sawyer.

If I were a girl

I’ve been reading some of Jme’s recent blog posts, according to those posts, some of her relatives said that we look a like (kind of like Conan O Brien and the president of Finland or some other country).

To that “accusation” I say that most of the time, relatives think you are more attractive than you really are. XD

Bwahahaha!!!

Pero wag ka magalit Jme, maganda ka naman e. Kaya lang pag naging babae ako, mas hot ako sayo! Thus, If I were a girl I’d be…

Elisha Cuthbert.



And oh yeah, If I were a girl I’d be a lesbian, I’d totally hang out with other hot girls and make out and do other wonderful stuff hot lesbians do.

Finally, If I were an American Idol Contestant

I’m guessing most of you are familiar with Ace. How about Chris or Taylor? Well, they’re morons! Losers and peons all of them! Bah! (In my best Simon Cowell Impression) In fact all of them are absolutely horrible that I’m not gonna choose from their ranks. Instead, I would rather be our very own Pinoy pop super star….

Mark Bautista



Pucha, wala naman cnabi yang mga American Idol nay an kay Lastikman! Tignan nyo namn, nagpapa macho pa o. Naaalala ko tuloy ung kalakasan ni George Estregan. Hahahahaha! Cool pa ung song nya:

Song Post #4
You win the game
You have no shame!
And I’m always gonna love you more!!!!

Sobra astig to dapat ito ung entrance music ni “The Game” Triple HHH sa WWE.
Panalo yun.

Alias the Movie

I watched Mission: Impossible 3 last Wednesday (opening day! Weeeee!). After work, JM, LaC and I went to Market Market to catch Mr. Katie Holmes in action. Though I was already pooped, I didn’t mind watching the movie ‘cause I was pretty hyped about the flick.

I thought the movie was going back to its roots. M:I 2 should have been okay by me. The only problem was that it was a Mission Impossible movie. Now, I’m one of those guys who think John Woo movies are cool, but Mission: Impossible is not about a double berretta wielding, one man army who loves to spin in slow mo amidst a flock of pigeons taking flight. It was always about a team of talented people who specialized in different aspects of espionage (disguise, computer systems, automobiles etc.) coming together to pull off a mission that is well… impossible.

As I said, I expected Mission: Impossible to go back to its roots. M:I 3 was helmed by JJ Abrams, the guy who created the TV series Alias. I thought: “this guy should now what he’s doing", he created a series about agents, double agents and terrorist organizations that is currently in its fifth season. I thought he was damn qualified to direct Mission Impossible 3. The repercussions of having this guy as its director only hit me about 30 minutes or so into the movie.

Like my title states, Mission: Impossible 3 is Alias the movie. Apparently, Abrams used up all his ideas in the five seasons of Alias, cause he didn’t come up with anything new for this movie. Abrams used every plot device found in Alias for M: I 3! Here are some examples:

The Pacing
Like a number of episodes of Alias, M:I 3 starts off with the protagonist (Ethan Hunt) tied to a chair (beaten and bruised), being interrogated by the bad guy. Again, like it always happens in Alias, the movie then backtracks several hours and shows you step by step how the good guy got into that predicament. It shows this by making Ethan Hunt go through a couple of mission briefings where he argues with the boss, has some comical conversation with the tech guy, he has some lovey-dovey sequences here and there, it then has agent Hunt run around various locales around the globe. Eventually, Ethan Hunt allows his ass to get caught, then we wind up where the movie starts off. When it gets back to this point, just like Sydney Bristow before him, Ethan Hunt escapes, whips the bad guy’s butt and saves the day. Tah-Dah!!!

The Secret Weapon
Alias has those mysterious Rambaldi devices. M:I 3 has the “Anti-God”/Rabbit’s foot. A weapon that is apparently so god-damned powerful that it can wipe out anything and everything from the face of the earth. Just like the Rambaldi device, what the Anti-God actually is wasn’t explained.

Spy Meetings
Just like Sydney Bristow and her handler Michael Vaughn, Ethan Hunt apparently loves meeting with his handler in inconspicuous locations like Seven Eleven convenience stores.

Code Names
M:I 3 uses the codename Phoenix in one of the black ops depicted (Phoenix is a codename used by Jennifer Garner’s character).

Cameos
If that wasn’t enough, the guy who plays Eric Wise on Alias (the fat guy who‘s bein partnered with Sydney’s sister Nadia) does a cameo, hell even the girl who plays Felicity on Felicity (another television series created by JJ Abrams) has a role in M:I 3.

Finally, just like Alias, the movie has an anti climactic ending. After all the great stunts and explosions in the beginning and in the middle of the movie, the ending was a major let down. Alias always gets a chance to redeem itself ‘cause there always is a next episode. Obviously, M:I 3 doesn’t have that luxury.

Off course the movie had its good points. Here’s 2 of them; Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Maggie Q. Hoffman played the sadistic badass to the T. Maggie Q was hot, plain and simple.

The movie was so identical to Alias in so many levels that in the end, I half-expected Tom Cruise to rip his face off to reveal Jennifer Garner.

In conclusion, JJ Abrams wasn’t the man for the job. In retrospect, they should have gotten some one like Michael Bay (Bad Boys 2, The Island) to direct M:I 3. The guy who directed the Bourne movies would have done a good job too… I think.

2 Weeks with the Man

Last April 17, I closed a chapter in my life by starting work. I kissed the bum life goodbye, donned my worker bee costume and became part of the hive that is bitmicro. In this post, I’d like to share some of the stuff about my first two weeks of being a cubicle worker. Before I proceed, I beg you, please don’t expect a coherent train of thought (as if my previous posts had one… ha!), or any semblance of a main idea. Instead, brace yourself for a good helping of rants and ramblings.

-Question #1: Ano ba talaga work ko?
Some of my friends asked me this before I started working. The answer I always gave was that I’d be a programmer that programs solid state memory storage devices. But I didn’t even know what the f*ck a solid state memory device is. Now I do. Basically it’s a hard disk that has a series of flash memory devices instead of a rotating disk. I write programs for those things. So there (pero ngayon, di pa ko marunong… but knowing is half the battle ryt?).

-Question #2: San ung work ko?
The place I work in is located at the 11th floor of the Net 1 center in the fort. Saying that I’m a cubicle worker is not exactly true. That’s because I don’t have my own cubicle. I have a work station. The place looks more like a computer laboratory than an office. Para lang ako nasa Computer lab sa Ateneo. Depressing. Well, at least I have my own PC... (Pero lilipat daw sa Net 1 Plaza by September, sana may cubicles na)

-Rant #1: Intranet
Though I have my own PC, the damn thing doesn’t have an internet connection. Because of that I can’t waste company time on YM, fantasy NBA, or blogging like charles does. All I have is collabrix (para shang YM na LAN lng). Du’n kami nag gagaguhan nila JM and LaC (oh yeah, office mates ko cla, kya lng c LaC sa ibang floor na assign). Kahit two seats away lang c JM, nag co collabrix pa kami. Hahahaha!

-Rant #2: The Mystery of the Dying Cellphone
Another thing na nakaka asar is that cellphones aren’t allowed in your work station (para daw di I divulge ang company secrets), you have to leave it in a shelf near the guard. Every time you wanna use your phone, you have to get up and go to a designated area. Okay lang sana sa akin, but my damn phone is a piece of crap. For some reason, every time I leave it on the shelf, the damn thing powers off. It doesn’t matter if it’s fully charged or not, my phone just dies. But when I take it away from the shelf (during lunch breaks or when I go home), the blasted thing works fine. I think it doesn’t like being around lots of cell phones, why? I dunno. Radiation? EM fields maybe? Email ko kaya si sir Libatique to find out?

-Rant #3: I want Money, lots and lots of Money...
Today is April 28, 2006. Everybody got paid today. Except for the new guys (which includes me)!!! It seems that sa May 15 pa ang first pay check namin ‘cause alanganin pa daw ang number of work days namin. And I thought that I was going to be able to swim in a vault full of money like Mr. Scrooge from “Ducktales” tonight. Depressing!

-Nerdness lv up
********
mike lv 30
********
int +13
dex -11
AGI -10
*******
learned new skill: "C Programming!"

I had to relearn C programming ‘cause I forgot how (And the stuff I forgot was not much to begin with XD). I had to become one with the pointers, structures, linked lists etc. I was so into it that one day, while reading a book on C programming, the author made a joke that went something like:

#include

#define { begin:
#define } end:

main()
begin:
printf(“Hello World\n”);
end:

I caught myself laughing at the joke… Shit ang nerd ko na.

-Fun with Mike and Friends entry #11
Cast: JM and LaC

Like I said earlier, nag co collabrix kaming tatlo lagi. Now, collabrix has this feature that allows you to “broadcast a message” (think SMS using PCs). While working, I suddenly received a message from JM (which he broadcasted to me and LaC) that read:

“NATATAE AKO!!”

Like I said, nag gagaguhan kami lagi, so I paid no attention to it. After a while LaC changed her online status to “Do not Disturb”. Her status was like that for about half an hour (napaisip tuloy ako: “wow, seryoso sa work sobra c lac”). When her status went back to “available” I asked her why she didn’t want to be disturbed. Apparently, her boss was using her PC when out of the blue:

Broadcast Message from JM Lukban:

“NATATAE AKO!!!”

Hahahahaha!!! It gets better, her seatmates happened to read the message and it spread like wildfire that some guy from the 11th floor named JM Lukban broadcasted that he wanted to take a shit.

That’s it for now… dami ko pa gusto sabihin kaya lang bawal mag divulge ng company stuff eh. Baka makulong ako XD.

The Story that Just Won’t Die

I’m talking about my encounter with Epok Quimpo sa Manang’s during my 2nd year in the Ateneo. Now, if you know me, (you most probably do since you’re reading my uber cool blog) you’ve most definitely heard the story AT LEAST once. Because of this and because I already documented the unfortunate incident in a previous post (Check: Mike the Embarassing Man), I won’t go into the story anymore. Instead I’m writing about something related to it.

Like the title states, the story just won’t die. I had dinner with Charles, Tay, Kabo and Darn last Saturday. During the usual boisterous banter that goes on when we get together, Darn brings up the usual story. But this time he added something new to the mythos (mythos ampota, para ng legend to a).

Now Darn is somehow acquainted to another Ateneo Blue Eagle; Magnum Membrere. How close are they you ask? Well, I don’t know (pero di naman cguro sila Broke Backers). Anyways, habang nag uusap si Darn and si Magnum, the story came up (I forgot who brought up the story though). But yung nakakagulat is that alam ni Magnum ung story!!! Apparently kinuwento ni Quimpo sa teammates nya na may mga Atenistang gusto sha I-trade! When I think about Epok Quimpo telling his teammates about the incident, I can’t help but shudder a little. Pucha, isipin nyo naman kung sino teammates nya nung time na yun! Villanueva, Alvarez, Fonacier, Tenorio, Bugia, Membrere… sama mo pa si Chia. Sila yung 2002 UAAP champions boys and girls. According to Membrere, pinagtawanan daw nila sobra si Epok, pero akala nila narinig lang ni Epok un kung saan saan. Chismis kumbaga. Little did they know that two jerks said it to his face! Mwahahahaha!

It’s a good thing Darn set the record straight for Magnum that it was Darn and me who unintentionally hurt the poor guy’s feelings. Sigh… The story has to be accurate dammit! The story will be passed on from 1 generation to another! It is the Legacy I leave to the Ateneo. Valedictorians, Summas, Magnas or whatever, they come and go…

The Epok-for-Cortez Story will on live forever!!! Bwahahahahah!!! Okay… probably not forever. Okay na sakin mga a few more months.

Who do I find at the End of My Road? Chuck Norris That’s Who

I woke up this afternoon with a hangover thanks to Xtiane’s graduation celebration last night. While I was lying on my bed, I realized what I didn’t appreciate when school ended, or when I walked up the stage to shake Father Nebres’ hand during the commencement exercises. It dawned on me that it WAS over. I also realized that I can be such a hypocrite (or a lying sack of shit if you prefer) sometimes. I always told anyone who would listen to me for 2 seconds that I couldn’t wait to graduate, that I couldn’t wait to finally haul my ass out of the Ateneo after 6 long years. But I didn’t feel any satisfaction at that moment, lying on my bed realizing I’ve come to the end of a proverbial road. Shit, I didn’t even feel relief. What I felt, cheesy as it may sound, was this big black empty hole inside my chest. I finally graduated and I can honestly say that I am going to miss going to Ateneo. I’m going to miss CTC 208, the caf, even the shitty excuse for a building that is Faura. But what I am really gonna miss are the people (shit ang cheesy to the max na nito ah) who one way or another, made my life interesting (friends, classmates, teachers, the pretty girls with mini skirts, even the doobie guys who chill along the SEC walkway). I probably won’t see most of them for a very long time. I made some great friends during the last six years, and we probably are going to keep in touch (sana naman! Walang kalimutan mga peeps!), but we no longer are going to hang out in school, eat lunch in the caf or buy cheese dog sandwiches in the “Satellite Caf” (kahit na nagkikita kita ang mga friends, iba parin ung nag ha hang out sa school). Thinking about being unable to do the things I took for granted for so long makes me feel like crap.

Shit! This is the first and last time I’m going to admit it. I am going to miss the Ateneo; Saying that I hated my stay is a load of bullshit. I’m going to miss my friends. I loved and hated graduation day at the same time. I enjoyed every hot, humid second of it. If I were given the chance to live my college life again I would (sans the tests, oral exams and hell weeks kung pwede. Ha-ha).

-----------------------------

Okaaay. Tama na cheesy stuff. Bring in some funnies!!! After feeling mildly depressed, I picked myself up and decided to surf the net. A friend of mine recently told me about Chuck Norris jokes circulating around the net (blogs, forums email etc.). He said that the jokes were really funny. So I decided to check them out. I googled “Chuck Norris Jokes” and found the most comprehensive site and started reading. Were they funny? Let’s just say that after the 6th or 7th joke, tears were literary falling from my eyes because of hysterical laughter. I’m gonna post some of them below (sobra tip of the ice berg mga ‘to, sobra dami e). Before reading, I advice that you read not just one, but a lot of them because these jokes are like beer; hinde pwede isang inom lang, kelangan uminom ka ng marami para masarapan ka.



Chuck Norris Facts

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke
the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while
she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck
Norris you may be only seconds away from death.

Chuck Norris doesn't have normal white blood cells like you and I. His have
a small black ring around them. This signifies that they are black belts in
every form of martial arts and they roundhouse kick the **** out of viruses. That's why Chuck Norris never gets ill.

Chuck Norris ruins the endings of Harry Potter books for children who just
bought one for the hell of it. When they start crying Chuck Norris calmly
says, "I'll give you something to cry about," and roundhouse kicks them in
the face.

Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, until Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked
her into a glacier.

Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift
of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen,
jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined
influence
to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of
roundhouse kick related deaths.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is
injected with five times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer.
This is, of course, to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt
to lower the fatality rate of the actors he fights.

When Chuck Norris's wife burned the turkey one Thanksgiving, Chuck
said, "Don't worry about it honey," and went into his backyard. He came
back five minutes later with a live turkey, ate it whole, and when he
threw it up a few seconds later it was fully cooked and came with
cranberry sauce. When his wife asked him how he had done it, he gave her
a roundhouse kick to the face and said, "Never question Chuck Norris."

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

There is no chin under Chuck Norris' Beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris has two speeds. Walk, and Kill.

if you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."

Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.

Chuck Norris is the only human being to display the Heisenberg uncertainty principle -- you can never know both exactly where and how quickly he will roundhouse-kick you in the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang is roughly equal to 1CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick)

Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job". That is the story of the universe.

Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.

There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Chuck Norris lives in Oklahoma.

A high tide means Chuck Norris is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.

Okay ba? I know the jokes are not for everyone. But I think people who at least have an inkling as to whom Chuck Norris is will find them funny. if you wanna check out more Chuck Norris Fun, check this site:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com

Fun with Mike and Friends

I’ve posted a few stories about myself on this blog. Most of them (if not all of them) are about me making a fool of myself. I don’t know why, time and again I get myself in those kinds of situations where I make myself look like a damn fool. Maybe because I enjoy telling everyone else about it afterwards haha!!! Or… maybe I just talk too much. Whatever.

In any case, this post is gonna be different. It’s not just gonna be about me. This post is my list of the 10 funniest stories (na di ko pa na post, until now that is) that me and my friends were part of. What’s different is that most of these stories are funny NOT because of me, but because of THEM. Why am I posting them? I guess its time to give credit where credit is due. I can’t be the only fount of funniness now can I? So, here it goes (the list is in chronological order by the way):

1. Oooooh! Lookie! A White Board Marker!
Cast: Mike, Joem and Mesi
-Once upon a time in High School, Joem, Mesi and I where at National Book Store (why we were there, I can’t remember), when we saw a Marker next to a White Board. Being the uber talented artists that we were, we took the marker and started doodling all over the white board. If a marker’s next to a white board, it has to be a white board marker right? Nuh-uh. One of those NBS guys spotted us and figured we were juveniles who get a kick out of writing “I was Here” on whiteboards using permanent ink. He wanted us to pay for the blasted thing. We didn’t have enough cash. Bottomline, Joem bought a bottle of alcohol, which we used to clean up our mess.

2. ES 10. First Class
Cast: Mike and the Chinese Mafia (sans Tay and Kabo)
-During my first year in college, I took Environmental Science 10 with mah peeps. During the first day of class, the teacher asked us “Why we chose ES 10 as our Nat. Sci. subject. Our classmates gave the BS answers (“I want to learn about the environment blah blah blah yackity schmackity”) When it was my turn to speak, I said:

Mike:Ma’am, nagenroll ako sa ES kasi sabi ni Stan, pag hindi daw ako nag ES ‘di na kami magkaibigan.

Darn, Charles and Yerx said the same thing. We made Stan out to be some posse’s big cheese. Haha. Apparently the teacher bought it. She probably thought that if stan could control loud mouths like us (not to mention ang lalaking mama ni darn and charles), he must be a bully.

3. ES 10 Filmviewing
Cast: Mike and Darn
-Darn and some guys cut some of their classes to watch a Joyce Jimenez movie (Big pa dati si Joyce XD). We met up during our ES class and I asked them:

Mike:O, kamusta ung movie?
Darn: Pangit! ‘di ako na-satisfy

Apparently, he wasn’t satisfied kasi wala mashado shots ng boobies ni Joyce Jimenez. It just so happened that we were going to watch a movie in class too. It was about saving the rain forest or something (kalimutan ko na ung title). One of the scenes from the movie showed some natives. These natives where the I-don’t-care-if-my-boobies-are-showing type of natives. With a voice just loud enough for EVERYONE to hear, I said:

Mike: O, yan Darn! Satisfied ka na ba!?

Everyone laughed. Si Darn namula na parang kamatis! Hehe.

4. Atras Mo! Atras Mo!
Cast: Mike and JC
-JC, Stan and I were walking along Father Masterson’s Drive coming from Katipunan (sa may gate 3). While crossing the street, this car came speeding towards us. He stopped just in time to plant one his wheels on JC’s foot. After a few seconds, the guy rolls down his window, looks JC, whose face was contorted in agony, up and down and asks:

Man: Okay ka lang
JC: (answering back in obvious frustration and agony) Atras Mo! Atras Mo!

5. Para Mama!
Cast: Mike and Lana
-I left martin’s birthday party, where I got extremely drunk, with Lana. We ended up waiting for taxis along katipunan when I saw headlights which I figured belonged to a taxi. I flagged the vehicle down while trying my best not to fall flat on my face on the side of the road when:

Lana: Mike, ba’t mo pina-para ung truck?
Mike: (incoherent mumbling).

The truck passes by. Oops. Could’ve sworn it was a cab.
Oh yeah. On my way home, I puked myself silly on the back of the cab I was riding.

6. Spirit of the Glass
Cast: Mike and Xtiane
-During one of our drinking sessions in JM’s house, he coerced us to play spirit of the glass. Since it was his house, I reluctantly agreed. If there was one word to describe spirit of the glass, it would be “Bullox”. The damn glass moves because one person or another makes it move (on purpose or not). Xtiane proved me right. We all had our eyes closed and we had our fingertips on the glass that was supposed to move. After a few moments:

Xtiane: (with her eyes closed) O, gumagalaw na ung glass!

I opened my eyes

Mike: Eh hindi mo naman hawak ung glass eh!

She was moving her hand this way and that while the glass was sitting idly on the board. XD

7. Steamed Sashimi
Cast: Mike, Tay and the rest of the gang
-After watching a movie, the gang and I decided to have dinner. We ate in this obscure Japanese place in glorietta. We all ordered the same thing, a bento meal that had rice, tempura (I think) and sashimi. Apparently, Tay doesn’t do raw fish. He calls the waitress and says:

Tay: Uh miss, pwede ba ipaluto ‘to?

The waitress was like “what the hell?!” The rest of us laughed throughout the meal. Oh yeah, they didn’t cook his sashimi. Apparently, they don’t accept requests from customers to have their sashimi steamed, fried or whatever.

8. If we hold on Together…
Cast: Mike LaC and Loza
-I went with LaC and friends to this resort in Batangas. While we were swimming in the pool, they all decided rather spontaneously to hold hands and walk to the deep and of the pool singing “If we hold on together” (the land before time theme) to show faith and trust that we wouldn’t let each other drown. LaC and Loza can’t swim. Talk about trusting in your friends right? Wrong.

Everyone: If we hold on… together. I know our dreams will never die…

We weren’t even close to the deep end when the two of them (LaC and Loza) broke formation and fought over a rubber ball like two crazed lunatics to serve as a make shift life saver.

9. Richard Reynoso
Cast: Mike and Richard
-After watching Sin City at Shangrila, Richard and I were chillin’ watching the rest of the people exit the theater when we saw none other than Ding Dong Avanzado and Jessa Zaragosa.

Richard: (in a loud mocking voice) Mike! Mike! SI RICHARD REYNOSO!! (he then starts to sing) Hindi ko kaya, ang Limutin Kita! Masdan mo, lumuluha ang aking mga mata!

Being the good friend that I am, I laugh my ass off! Dunno if they heard us, but it was damn funny!

10. Atenista ‘To!
Cast: Mike and Edson
-Edson and I were with another OJT doing MMS tests in a Mc Donald’s in SM Ayala. The OJT, Princess was an ECE student from UST, and boy was she pretty. Sha ung tipo na maganda tapos alam nya maganda sha, pero in a good way. She doesn’t come off as stuck up, mayabang or anything. She’s real nice. Anyways, naglolokohan kami sa Mc Donald’s.

Princess: Edson, libre mo naman ako ng French fries.
Edson: Wala ako pera eh.
Princess: Mike, libre mo naman ako ng French fries.
Mike: Siguro, sa UST, pag sinabi mo sa isang guy na ilibre ka ng French fries, mabilis pa sa umaga. Ililibre ka nya no?
Princess: Oo naman.
Mike: Pwes, ibahin mo kami! Atenista mga ‘to! Di porke’t maganda ka ililibre ka namin ng French fries. Iba ‘toh!!!


Oi, pero, naglolokohan lang kami nun ha. Wala seryosohan. Haha! :D

------------------------

So there! Props to my friends for making my life interesting!

Graduation Stuff Circa 2004

I was browsing through some of my stuff this afternoon, looking through old books, drawings and other personal belongings when I came upon my yearbook stuff when I got one during my fourth year of college (kahit na 2 more years pa bago ako actually mag graduate XD haha). I found my yearbook write up, my gradpic and my creative pic. Since my actual graduation is just around the corner, I’m posting my graduation stuff here.

Write-Up

If there’s one person you should know in your stay in the Ateneo, its Mike. I mean, he’s so cool kaya. He’s got it all, the smarts, insurmountable artistic talent and dashing good looks. Not to mention he’s so kind and merciful too! I remember one time someone was making asar him for spending 6 years in college, instead of beating him up with his mad kung fu skillz, he just let it slide. I asked him why, and you know what he said? He said “I believe that the first test of a truly great man is his humility. Really great men have a curious feeling that the greatness is not in them but through them. And they see something divine in every other man and are endlessly, incredibly merciful” I was like so amazed. Mike changed my life so much that I gave myself to him body and soul. I am his devout servant, I worship the very ground he walks on. Mike is so galling that he was voted “Person most likely to establish his own country”. Long live Mike!!!

Ahem… So here’s my gradpic:



I was so pissed with this photo ‘cause I forgot to shave.

Here’s my creative pic:



Guess who I am? To give you guys a hint, I’m a character from Greek mythology

Ahhh… looking through my write-up and pictures sure brought back a lot of memories (snif).

Saguijo

I went to Saguijo last night with some of my friends (Jm, Martin and Xtiane). Kaya di ako nakasama kina Tay manood ng Fearless. Haha. Besides, I already watched the flick, and since I can safely assume that they watched it too, I can go ahead and say that Jet Li kicks the bucket (sobra cliché pa, how do you kill mega kung-fu man? Poison of course! Man don’t they ever learn?).

Anyhoo back to Saguijo, to those who don’t know what the heck Saguijo is, it’s this old decrepit building (I think house is a better word) hidden amongst the hustle and bustle of the Makati Business District where OPM bands play their music. Is it me or do OPM bands tend to congregate in places that look like God forsaken hell holes? Why can’t they play in snazzier places (but if they did, malamang mas mahal ung entrance fee, so…) like the Manila Hotel, or Edsa Shang (imagine, orange and lemons kicking it, in Edsa Shang… Nyahahahaha!)?

There where a lot of bands that night that I didn’t even know existed, but there where a couple that I at least heard about, namely; Urbandub, Chicosci and Stonefree. I should probably mention that though I have heard of Urbandub and Chicosci, I couldn’t tell you what songs they play and how they look like. That’s why when the opening band was setting up, I turned to Martin and asked him in all seriousness;

“Sikat ba yan?”

He thought that nangagago lang ako so naki ride naman sha; “Oo, sikat yan!” It seems that Saguijo wanted to start things off big, ‘cause the band I was asking about was Urbandub. Haha! Kakahiya naman ako, sana wala ibang nakarinig sa akin. So it went like this, when a new band would start setting up, itatanong ko lagi “sikat bay yan?” Eventually na realize din ni Martin na di ako nangagago hahahaha!!

Aside from that, another embarrassing thing happened to me while I was there ‘cause of my big mouth. Jm met some of his friends there, and he introduced us to this girl (who was kinda cute). Anyway, I heard that a band was going to play called “Narda”. I found this funny so I started blurting out;

“Narda?! Diba Kamikaze un!? Request tayo sa Narda na kumanta ng Narda! Wahahaha!!!”

Little did I know that the frontman of Narda was a frontwoman; the girl who Jm introduced to us, who was in close proximity to me when I was flapping my gums and making a fool of myself. Shit. Stupid Jm... should have said something dammit. After they played, the frontwoman came up to Jm and said that they were going already. Before she left she said to us:

“Guys, thanks for coming, kahit alam ko naman na hindi kami ang pinunta nyo dito…”

I hope she didn’t say this because she overheard my stupid comments. Buti nalng nakainom nako, may palusot ako as to why I was bright red. XD

After a few more bands, Chicosci hit the stage. If I could think of one word to describe them, it would be:

Angas

Pota, lupit pala ng band na to! And to think Ateneo band pala sila dati and ngayon ko lang sila narinig. Angas nung frontman! He really reminded me of those Japanese rockstars I see on animax. It was his look (anime hair, eye shadow, and he was wearing this glove-like-thing that stretched to his fore arm), muka talaga hapon. He reminded me of the frontman ng larc en ciel (Japanese band):



I wasn’t going to be surprised kung tumugtog bigla ung guitar riff ng Driver’s High and kinanta nya bigla ung GTO theme song. Haha! Anyways, they did something better, nag cover sila ng OPM song:

Lagi nalang umuulan
Parang wala katapusan
Jan jan jan jan.....
Blah Blah Blah

…….

La la la la la la laaaaaaahhh!!!
Tuwing Umuulaaaaan!!!

Bwahahahaha!!! Eto talaga ung nag steal ng show for me!! Chicoshe Rox!!! Woooo Hoooo!!!! Hindi na Sponge Cola fave Ateneo band ko! Bwahahahaha!!!

After a couple of bands, tumugtog narin ung stonefree, ung pinakahihintay ng stonefuh-reak ng group namin (haha, cno kaya un!? Hmmm… :D). I always thought that stonefree performed well live. Pero n’ labo, iniba iba nila ung songs na tinugtog nila, they changed the beat, tune and even the lyrics. They even inserted some verses from the song "Time after time" ("if you fall I will catch you... blah blah, time after time") It was like Stonefree: The Remix. In my opinion, the only musicians who have the license to remix their own songs are the ones who really make it big. This begs the question:

“Sikat ba yan?”

Haha!

And the Answer Is...

Keira Knightley!!!

Congratulations to Jamie Zamodio for proving my mad photoshop skillz...
Email mo ung pic mo and i photoshop ko...

Conditions for the Prize
1. Dapat i post mo sa blog mo (advertising hihihi), and dapat sabihin mo ako gumawa nyahahaha!!

2. Dapat me caption: "gawa ni mike na mas magaling kay elbert sa lahat ng bagay, lalo na sa pag drawing". nyahahahaha!!!

Thanks to Tay for his constructive criticism (bah)
No thanks to the know-it-all, kabo, for bashing my fantastiglorious work. malamang inggit lang yan, kasi sha, di nya kaya gumawa ng ganyan. bleh!!!

Guess Who!

i've been playing around with adobe photoshop a lot again lately. I made some more "toons" of real people. Here's one of them:



So... in order to test my mad photoshop skillz, i'd like to know how many people actually recognize the person whose picture i messed around with. Sort of a contest, who guesses the right person wins! Yipeeeee (oi JM, di ka pwede sumali XD)!!! Who ever wins gets a priceless prize (priceless prize! haha!) courtesy of the Republic of Michaelandia!

My Favorite Movie Lines

Here are some of my favorite movie lines, sadly they are all from american movies. Why? I dunno, probably becuase I don't watch to many Filipino movies. I watch a lot of asian movies (Japanese, Chinese and Korean), but I don't remember any of their lines (probably because i don't speak japanese, Chinese or Korean haha. In any case, here they are (in particular order);

-"Bad guy falls in poop: Classic element of physical comedy. Now comes
the part where we throw our heads back and laugh. Ready?
Guides: Ready! Hahahahahaha!" George of the Jungle

-"Take that you Evil Spawn of Satan! Ace Ventura 2"

-"Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape." Planet of the
Apes

-"I feel the need- the need for speed!" Top Gun

-"I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!" The Wizard of Oz

-"Say 'hello' to my little friend!" Scarface

-"In this life, I only have my balls and my word- and I don't break them for nobody" Scarface

-"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer." The Godfather: Part
II

-"You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do
ya, punk?" Dirty Harry

-"If you build it, they will come." Field of Dreams

-"You can't handle the truth!" A Few Good Men

-"Thank you for playing "Should we or should we not follow the advice of
the galactically stupid!" A Few Good Men

-"Love means never having to say you're sorry." Love Story

-"May the Force be with you." Star Wars

-"I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse." The Godfather

-"Arise! Arise, Riders of ThÈoden. Spears shall be shaken, shields shall
be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises!!" Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

-"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It
is the sound of your death... Goodbye, Mr. Anderson... " The Matrix

-"No...Not without incident." Equilibrium

-"Yes, I've heard. Kills men by the hundreds. And if HE were here, he'd
consume the English with fireballs from his eyes, and bolts of lightning
from his arse." Braveheart

-"Whatever life holds in store for me, I will never forget these words:
"With great power comes great responsibility." This is my gift, my
curse. Who am I? I'm Spiderman." Spiderman

-"It's not who I am underneath, but what I do that defines me." Batman Begins

-"I belong to the warrior in whom the old ways are borne anew" The Last Samurai

-"Are you not entertained!?" Gladiator

Bum No More?

For the last couple of weeks, I did everything in my power in order to ensure that I, Mike the Invincible Man would have a job waiting for me by the time I finally graduate from the god forsaken hell hole that is the Ateneo. For the last couple of weeks, I;

Went to three Job fairs (Ateneo, U.P. and a job fair sponsored by the PLDT group of companies in Megamall).

Applied for jobs in about 10 or so companies (Accenture, AdTx, BitMicro, Panasonic, Samsung, HP, Fujitsu, PLDT, etc.)

Took two employment exams so far (Accenture and AdTx)

Went to 1 interview (BitMicro)

Phew…

So, what do I have to show for it?

Accenture
I arrived late for this test (thanx to JM being super late), so we had to go to another venue for the test (no big). The exam was ok. Standard stuff. Nakakaasar lang ung proctor! Sobra Bitch!

Mike: Excuse me, what if I’m not interested in the technical support job (aka call center); do I need to fill up this form?

Proctor: Kung di ka interested e di wag mo sagutan.

Whoa… what the hell did she have up her huge butt!? Stupid hag.

Tapos humihingi pa sha ng resume and transcript, kahit sinabi ko na nag pass na ko ng resume and transcript nung job fair. The stupid bitch still adamantly insisted that I pass a resume and transcript or fax it to some number later. What the hell for!? Fuck it! Hindi na ko magpapasa!!

After the test, which took forever (dami test ampota), JM and I went to Glorietta to catch a movie with IC. We didn’t know it at the time but we were about to watch the sorriest excuse for a motion picture created in recent memory: Blood Rayne (buti nalng linibre kami ni IC sa movie). I’d tell you how much it sucked, but I’d be straying from the theme of my post.

Anyways, my current status with accenture is unknown. Di pa nila ko tinatawagan. Di namn cguro ako bumagsak sa test, baka kasi di ako nag pass uli ng resume. Stupid.

AdTx
Muntik nanaman ako ma late for another employment exam (again thanks to the very slow and tardy JM Lukban). Good thing we made it on time. The test was ok (parang ung accenture test pero mas mahirap ng onti).

But unlike Accenture, tinawagan na ko ng AdTx. I passed!!! Woohooo!!! I have an interview next Monday. Sana Ok (still don’t know the base pay, benefits etc.)!!

BitMicro
This company didn’t even bother with an employment test. They went straight to the interviews. I went through 3 interviews; 1 with HR, 1 with the Head of Engineering and 1 with the CEO of the company. The interviews went ok. Sort of.

They offered me a job.

Wtf!? I was so excited! I was being offered a job for the very first time! Okay, it was more like “we are considering you for the job, call us back if you’re interested” but still! The CEO gave me two days to think about it. It was a good thing he did, the moment I left their office, all the down sides of the offer dawned on me. Here’s the down side;

-The contract is for 4 freakin’ years
-Work hours are from 7am to 7pm!?

Can anyone say Legalized Slavery!?

So wanna know what happened? I called after 3 days instead of 2 (para defiant ung dating ko haha). I told them I was interested. Hey, I figured they’d give me at least a week before they informed me of my status (in that week I would explore my other options). Did they give me a week? Nope. They gave me 3 hours. After three hours, someone from HR called me and asked me when I was available for the final talk and “most probably sign the contract”. Shit. I was being backed into a corner here. I told them I’d drop by Thursday next week… Oh God.

Come on Globe, come on Smart, HP, PLDT anyone!!! Call me dammit!! Give me something else!!!

I don’t wanna work for 12 hours a day, 5 days a week for 4 years!!! Save Me!!!

After everything that’s happened, you know what? Being a bum’s looking pretty good right about now.

P.S. I have another employment test on Saturday (Fujitsu).

Hmm, what else? Oh yeah… Last Friday I won a cell phone in a raffle (Smart SWEEP sa Megamall), but since I wasn’t there to claim my prize, they gave it to some on else… sad.

Underworld Evolution: Uncut!!!

It's been a long time since the last time i posted anything new (wala kasi ko maisip na i blog eh). But as the fates would have it... now i do!!

A couple of weeks ago, I watched Underworld Evolution (the sequel to the 2000-somthing movie starring Kate Beckinsale as the warewolf slaying vampire Selene). The movie was "so so" (in my opinion masmaganda pa ung 1st movie), but what really caught my attention was the sex scene between Kate Beckinsale and the jack ass-christian bale-wannabee scott speedman.

Cancel that.

What really caught my attention was the ABSENCE of the sex scene between Kate Beckinsale and the jack ass-christian bale-wannabee scott speedman. For those of you who watched the movie, you know what i'm talking about. For those who didn't, its like this...

Michael Corvin (speedman) plays the gentleman by trying to take care of the injured Selene (Beckinsale)... Selene, suffering from a fit of "i'm a woman-save me-you-big boy" complex decides the fool's gonna get some. They start making out, Speedman starts taking of the oh so hot leather that the vampire heroine is wearing... then NOTHING!!! The next few scenes were cut. And the ones who performed the sacriligious act didn't even do a good job! Sobra halata ampota!!!

Suffice to say, i was uber disappointed! For the next couple of weeks, i found out i wasn't alone in feeling this way... Countless heterosexual male acquaintances of mine were as disappointed as i am.

That disappointment ends now!!!

I have come across the deleted scene that those pigs dare take out of the movie!!! Mwahahahaha!!!

Here's what we missed



If you wanna see the whole thing, eto ung link

http://www.iwatchstuff.com/archives/2006/01/
kate_beckinsales_sex_scene_fro.html#
comment

In the end... disappointing parin ung scene (parang ung scene ni Stallone and sharon stone sa the Specialist, stupid artsy shit), but at least na satisfy na ung... curiosity ko. XD And seeing Kate Beckinsale get in on was well worth it... kahit kasama nya ung stupid bastard (scott speedman).

The Year in Review (Gaya gaya ako eh XD)

I saw a couple of blogs with posts about year 2005; about how it totally sucked ass or about how it totally rocked… So I thought; “Gawa din ako ng the Year in Review para cool din ako!” Hahaha. So here I go.

Since student pa ko, I think of a year as divided into school semesters. So, year 2005 for me is divided into three (Half of the 2nd semester of my 5th year, the whole of my 1st semester of my 6th year and half of the 2nd semester of my 6th year). Since I was for the most part wasted every other day of the week during my second semester of my 5th year, I don’t actually remember that much about it. Haha. Not much to review there :D

The second and third part of my 2005 was mostly spent uh… doing nothing (That’s what happens if your 6th year is made up of a total of 15 units. So as not to bore you with a long winding narrative of what I did and how I felt doing absolutely zilch, I’ll tell you about it… with a song (post).

The curtain raises, then the artificial fog clears revealing me with my handy dandy magic sing…

Rainy Days and Mondays (and any other day of the week for that matter)

Talking to myself and feeling old (really old)
Sometimes I’d like to quit (huhuhu yes I do)
Nothing ever seems to fit
Bummin’ around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays (and any other day of the week for that matter) always get me down

What I’ve got they used to call the blues (Ateneo blue)
Nothing is really wrong (akala nyo lang wala! Pero meron! MERON!!!)
Feeling like I don’t belong (being in 6th year ‘n all)
Bummin’ around some kind of lonely clown
Rainy days and Mondays (and any other day of the week for that matter) always get me down

Funny but it seems I always wind up here with you (Damn u ateneo! Damn yooouu!!!)
Did you know the Ateneo screwed me!?
Funny but it seems that it’s the only thing to do
To run and find the one who screwed me!!!

what I feel has come and gone before (I am not the first sixth year ECE student in AdMU ha!)
No need to talk it out
We know what it’s all about
Bummin’ around, nothing to do but frown
Rainy days and Mondays (and any other day of the week for that matter) always get me down

Thank you! Mabuhay! Mahal ko Kayo!!! Yakkity Schmackity and all that shit…